Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying, a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, very picky, knows exactly what […]
I am the terror that flaps in the night,… I am the batteries that are not included… I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3am… I am the fingernail that scrapes the blackboard of your soul… I am a special news bulletin that interrupts your favorite show… I am… obviously out of my […]
1. What’s the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes. 2. My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support. 3. What do you call a five-year old with no […]
“Hey stud, got a name?” she purred. “big o” I said, “but everyone calls me cake” “Wow, nice nickname. Is that because you’re so sweet?” she giggled. “No” I said, “it’s cause when I’m out, every fat bitch tries to get their hands on me.”
NORMAL – Not good, not bad, just a teacher. BORING – Talks for hours with a slow, deep voice that is impossible to understand. BASTARD – Gives other students work to do while interrogating. AWESOME – Teaches by making his students watch movies and listen to Heavy Metal songs. FOREIGNER – Basically that teacher with […]
Using Nap Time spray will make your headaches go away ! I wish I would of thought of this.
1. ”Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So why not get wasted all the time, and have the time of our life.” 2. “Here’s to women, beer and song, may none of them be flat.” 3. ”Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…If you’re going to lie, lie for […]
1. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. 2. Aren’t you the guy from the village people? 3. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer. 4. Bad cop. No donuts. 5. Didn’t I see you get your butt […]
People don’t realize how big Alaska really is.
Lindsay used to be so hot back in the day now not so much. Even with the money she has I wouldn’t fuck her with the torch of Gondor. Charlie is a party animal and I enjoy all his movies so I would have to pick Charlie in this battle.