A man wakes up in the middle of nowhere. He has no money, he doesn’t know where he is and there is absolutely nothing around him, except for a small diner. The man walks towards the diner, where a sign reads “eat all you want, your grandchildren will pay”.
The man walks in, eats like there is no tomorrow and, when he is done, a waitress walks up to him and gives him the bill. “Wait, I read the rules carefully.” says the man.”I know,” replies the waitress “this is your grandfather’s bill.”
A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, and the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then, it was off to a movie – the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?” One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.” The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.