I visited her grave today after 7 years in denial.


So I’m 26 years old.

About 16 years ago I met this amazing girl when I was in school. We instantly became friends, always spending time together, she was just the best.The years passed by and me and her started to grow closer and I realized that she was much more than jut a friend, I was falling for this girl.So when I turned 13 I mustered up the courage to just take the leap and ask her out. She said yes.The next 6 years were just the best, we were in love and we wanted to take it a step further. But we wanted to go to university before we decided to settle down.

We were always so sure that we’d get married right after.And we would have, but she went out drinking with some friends for one of her friend’s birthday party, and they got really drunk and decided to drive.They were driving back, and she was in the passenger seat up front.They crashed into a tree and she died right there. The other girls were injured to various degrees but they all survived.I found out about it soon after and I just broke on the inside.Moved away from that town across the country to go to uni, I didn’t even go visit her grave once after her funeral. I was just in denial.

I have been living an empty life for the past 7 years.Went through Uni and have been going on, not getting in a relationship of any sort. Constantly taking solace in drinking and smoking weed.I recently cleared out my student loan.So I decided to finally go see her, tell her I did it, and I wish she was here with me today, and I just broke down crying at her grave for hours.I didn’t want to accept she’s gone. And the future that we built is gone.But she is. And I’m just helpless.

Please, if you’re ever going to go out and drink, please do not ever drive, or get in a car with a drunk driver. You’re not just ending your lives, but someone else’s too.

I just needed to let this out. I’ve been lurking for years and I’ve isolated myself from most people.


by : ItsNotWhoIAmButWhatIDo