Now that I’m turning 30 next month i’ve done some backtracking on all the stupid mistakes I have made.One of the biggest mistakes took me a long ass time to realize but I should have seen it a long time ago. When I was in a relationship Alicia would always hint she wanted to be with me and she would always call my mom suegra and things like that. For the longest time She never introduced me to her parents which was weird because we was friends for a long ass time and when your friends with someone for a long time you to meet their family. I was always plan B I was always the side dude. Looking back now it all makes sense.
I will admit I might have been naive or stupid but the signs were always there. When I started going out with Marie she wanted to move in with me and I finally decided to move in with her. When I told Alicia I was going to pick up my GF from out-of-town she didn’t believe me. I asked her if she wanted to roll with me so she could meet her and she said no. So I asked my nieces Lahoe and Sylho to join me. Last minute when I was on my way to pick Marie up Alicia calls me and decides to join us. The whole way there it was fun we talked we got lost and we got lost in the country like a bitch scary dark roads no houses.
Dumb ass Marie gave us the wrong directions. We finally get to Marie’s house and pack all her shit and return to Dallas. On our way here Alicia did a 180 she was quiet and looked upset. We stopped to get something to eat at a Wendy’s and Alicia sat away from everyone. Everyone hurried up and ate their food and left at the same time and went outside and left Alicia and I alone. I asked her is their something wrong or whats going on. She said nothing its ok. She looked so sad and crushed I want to say she looked angry. We finally get back to Dallas and I drop Alicia off. After a few days or weeks we talk again and she mentioned that she didn’t believe I was so serious with that girl and what about us?.
At the time I though she meant will we still be friends? but she obviously meant me and her starting a relationship. Even before when I was going out with Lupita she would always tell me she hated her and dint like her. When I was going out with Crapabel, Alicia mentioned to me a few times she wanted us to get together. Once I told her no I’m with someone and I wont leave them just like that to get with you or anyone. Another time Alicia brought up the subject of me and her going out I had to tell her I gave you plenty of chances to go out with me but you dint want to I was never good enough for you. Alicia never wanted me unless someone else wanted me.
That’s fucked up huh ? Its like she never fully trusted me she was afraid. I wont point fingers I will admit it was my fault what happened in the end. I knew how Alicia was and what she’s done in the past and what she was capable of. She attempted to convince me she had changed and I forcefully convinced myself that she had. My heart said do it my brain said don’t do it reconsider. Looking back at it now its obvious she never cared about me as much as I cared about her. I will post the final missing piece of the Alicia puzzle on another post.