Sometimes you just have to set your ego aside

If you wanted to break up with someone how would you do it?  Would you call them to break up with them ? Would you text them ? How about sending an email ? Some people would say it depends how long you been going out with them or how long you have known them and or the reason you are breaking up. I guess all those three things sum up to the way you should break up with someone.An ex of mind broke up with me once but dint tell me right away. That sounds stupid right. I mean I figured it out I’m not stupid but yeah I never had anyone do that before and I never expected someone who was my best friend for years to do that to me but Alicia did. You can argue that no one is perfect and people make mistakes and that I have made some bad decisions in my life.  Yeah all that shit is true. There are just some things you don’t do to people you love or claim you love.



The last month of my romantic relationship with Alicia sucked. I’ve gone through some stupid break ups and pre break up dances with other women but this one was the worst. The last 3 weeks of our relationship sucked. The more time passed the less I heard from her or talked to her. I would message her and call her and get ignored so a week passed and less and less communication. Second week no communication at all.The Big O of old would have put up with this shit and been all needy and searching for her and emailing her and stalking her perhaps and making up poems and shit. Before we started going out I knew of the things she had done and always though I and or we were different but I guess I’m just the biggest idiot in the world.  When your brain tells you one thing and your heart tells you another  think about the decision you make. I listened to my heart instead of my brain.  Shit happens.



Anyways during this 2 weeks I swear the world had never shined on a sadder man. I turned to the one person who I would never turned to for advice and she was there for me. I felt angry with myself and yeah I felt lonely and shit. Drank a lot slept a lot and as my friends would put it cried like a lil bitch too much. What hurt me the most was that I never believed my BFF could do something like that. The signs were there tho from the things she told me about her past and things that have occurred but still you think wont happen to me people change and she said she would never do that. I gave it some time but eventually It came down to me having to write a letter an old school pen and paper letter and leaving it on her windshield.I basically said If I don’t hear back from you by the end of this week I will never talk to you again. Well she ended up coming to see me and we officially broke up. Explained to me the reasons why it wont work out. The sad part is most of it my brained try to warn me about a few months before. I also learned something things I never knew about my friend or ex friend I should say but I wont write about them lets just say that to one of those reasons explained to me   my rebuttal was  If I knew this was my last birthday party then I would do whatever I wanted to do, with whomever I wanted to.



In the end its true what they say “Don’t rely on anyone for even your own shadow leaves you in times of darkness” and that is so true in a way. My thing is I was raised to not trust so easily by my dad and then again at the same time my mom sees the good side in people all the time. Two totally different points of view.  Fuck it in the end I forgave the people who have hurt me in the past not because they deserve it but because I deserve peace of mind. Do I want my friend back of course. From time to time I miss my friend,think about what she is doing and want to tell her about my latest embarrassing story.  We don’t speak anymore Alicia and I but not because of our break up it was because of a rumor.  I will leave that for another post.




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