“I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! […]
So why did the chicken cross the road? SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period. JOHN McCAIN: […]
If she’s smart tell her she’s funny If she’s funny tell her she’s hot If she’s hot tell her she’s smart If she’s all of the above… let’s face it, you don’t stand a chance!
Stars Represent the 6 levels of severity. No pain. no real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you.You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka and Red Bulls. […]
Llegó a mis casa y le digo a mi vieja “Amor, vengo que no me aguanto, ve quitándote la ropa que te voy hacer el amor a la bestia.!!” Pues Entramos al cuarto y nos tiramos de manera salvaje, brutal y escandalosa. Fue tanto el ajetreo y el ruido de la cama contra […]
People need to make more realistic songs. Instead of, “I’d walk a thousand miles”, how about “I’d walk until my feet get tired and then MAYBE a couple more minutes.” Instead of “here I am staring, at your perfection”, how about “you are more attractive than most women I see on a daily basis.” Lastly, […]
Remember to be a nice guy, but not to every girl because then it’s not special. You can’t really be nice to just one because then you’d be fake and probably just trying to play her or get some. Nice isn’t the same for everyone so you shouldn’t be bare minimum nice, but if you’re […]
Friend: So I just watched this film where a man’s wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman. ME : […]