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Blog about random things.

Tag: kids

I’d love to be six again !

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, and the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then, it was off to a movie – the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?” One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.” The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

Updated: March 7, 2017 — 12:52 PM

So I took a shower earlier today and left my 2 year old son in the living room with the TV on thinking he would be ok.

I come out 20 minutes later and he covered the entire living room in green permanent marker that he somehow got a hold of. As you can imagine, I flipped out and immediately ran to the store to buy cleaning supplies. I tried at least five different types, and scrubbed for at least half an hour but the stain was still there. Does anybody have any good methods for getting blood out of the carpet?

Updated: January 21, 2015 — 9:13 PM

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

 The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

 

 

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

Updated: February 5, 2015 — 3:01 AM

Willy Wonka knew those children would die in his factory.

After Augustus gets sucked up Willy Wonka knew those children would die in his factory.the shoot, they all hop on board the boat through the tunnel of doom. The boat doesn’t have two extra vacant seats though.

It was designed with prior knowledge that they would lose two participants before that point.Later, they drive a cream spewing car with only four seats. Did they have another car waiting in the garage in case the others made it? Of course not.Willy Wonka uses children to make his candy.

 

Golden Tickets

 

 

Updated: March 23, 2016 — 4:25 PM
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