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Tag: women

I’d love to be six again !

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, and the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then, it was off to a movie – the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?” One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.” The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

Updated: March 7, 2017 — 12:52 PM

Alcohol and the female personality.

Drink: Beer 

Personality: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks 

Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying, a pain in the butt. 

Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. 

Drink: Mixed Drinks 

Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, very picky, knows exactly what she wants.  

Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her; if she is interested, she’ll send you a drink. 

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel, see below) 

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated yet giggles. 

Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends. 

Drink: White Zinfandel 

Personality: Easy, thinks she is classy and sophisticated, but actually has no clue. 

Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is; this should be an easy target. 

Drink: Shots 
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and is looking to get totally drunk … and naked. 
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!

Updated: March 25, 2016 — 9:42 AM
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