Things I Wish Upon My Enemies

1.) Flimsy toilet paper.

2.) A predisposition to hitting reply all by accident.

3.) Mosquito bites in between their toes.

4.) Clogged sinuses on the day of a meal they’ve been looking forward to all year.

5.) Bountiful amounts of stray LEGO pieces.

6.) An inability to reproduce the leather couch fart noise a second time.

7.) Lots of friends who talk endlessly about their baby’s “advanced” physical and mental development.

8.) No Wi-Fi signal.

  • claudus

    Funny– I think the worst is no wifi signal or clear Internet– I suffer everyday because if it—

    • Clear sucks almost as much as their customer service. I was double billed once and called their customer service and they swore they would refund my money they never did.