What Happened To All The Nice Guys?

What happened to all the nice guys? The answer is simple: you did. See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

 

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.”

nice guys finish last

Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease. Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren’t dating him.

More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?” Well, once again, you did. You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion

 

You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had.

He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be. Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that and I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that. So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do: 1.) Build a time machine. 2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass. 3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab a hold of it.

 

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don’t really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you. If you were five years younger. So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you’ve fucked yourself over. You’re getting older, after all. It’s time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn’t want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn’t fucking want you, now.

Sincerely, A Former Nice Guy.

 

  • Same is true of nice/good girls. Too damn true.

    • Big O

      I hate running into folks who try to be nice and flirty with me to get what they want. Please try that game on someone else.

  • Jordan

    “You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.”

    Being nice doesn’t automatically grant you rights to bone me. I’m allowed to be selective and not date you if I don’t want to. Stop befriending girls just because you want to sleep with them and start actually being a friend.

    • Big O

      I agree with you Jordan. That’s why I’m mean all the time and only nice to those that deserve it. If you notice the picture I placed at the very top of the article is pretty much true lol. People should be nice just to be nice not to get something out of it.

    • Big O

      Its true that some people are not ready for a mature relationship and that some people accept the love they think they deserve because of emotional issues they have in their head.

  • Here is a list of ways to get out of the dreaded Friend-Zone

    1. Make a move

    • Big O

      2. Grab her ass

  • James Johnson

    Let me pass this piece of wisdom on to you “ladies”.
    The old NASA definition for a woman, stll holds true:
    What is a woman?
    “An LSS, (life support system) for a pussy.”
    Shank you….whooops, I mean thank you.
    James

  • Geraldine Kent

    You’re quite the prick, Big 0

    • And females find that attractive.

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