I woke up this morning next to a fat chick after last night’s drunken haze. After a few moments of trying to recollect my thoughts, I came to the conclusion that I most likely fucked her. So not wanting to be a dick, I woke her up and I said to her, “Here, if you want to see me again, call this number.”
“Awww, men don’t usually give me their numbers,” she responded.
I said, “It’s not mine. It’s Weight Watchers.”